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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439872">Understanding, Gentle and Tall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ap_marvel/pseuds/ap_marvel'>ap_marvel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, adam driver said bendemption rights and we fuck wit that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:53:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,745</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439872</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ap_marvel/pseuds/ap_marvel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What would Kylo Ren be like in a marriage?</p><p>Understanding. Gentle. Tall.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Understanding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">

        <li>
          Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: 
            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23394010">Understanding, Gentle and Tall</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enjouement/pseuds/Enjouement">Enjouement</a>
        </li>


    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"i do not want the peace which passeth understanding, i want the understanding which bringeth peace." - <em>Helen Keller</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>He was understanding.</p><p>She was alone, trapped in the turmoil simmering within the spacious Throne Room. It was a blur of the red walls and Praetorian Guards, speckles of black spotting her vision – but she kept her focus on him. Ben. He was beside her, his body arched backwards, his strangled screams reverberating through her. Her own screams drowning her as she sobbed. The pain of Snoke tearing apart the frail barriers of her mind, clawing apart every memory and searching for Luke's location was nothing compared to seeing Ben being tortured. And it was because of her.</p><p>Snoke wanted her to turn, as he had Ben. To delve into the darkness now that his former Apprentice had failed him.</p><p><em>Free him</em>, a voice snarled in her mind. <em>Don't you have compassion for him? Pathetic child.</em></p><p>Rey tried to resist, recalling the shadows and empty reflections at Ach-to. How it felt...</p><p>The hair on her neck stood up, a cold breath running down her spine. A twisted sensation crawled beneath her skin and down to her fingertips – temptation. She could be powerful with the power of the Dark side – more than Snoke could be. And it was all simmering in wait.</p><p>She had been fighting her whole life, abiding by what she had thought was right... What was she willing to sacrifice to win this war? Leia had asked her before she left to look for Luke. She hadn't known the answer before, but maybe she did now.</p><p>She desperately watched Ben. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. His screams no longer clashed with her own – abruptly stopping. His body no longer shook beneath Snoke's hold. The light of their bond snapping violently inside her chest, a hollowness rooting itself in its place.</p><p>Somehow her screams became louder. Excruciating as they left her throat raw, but nothing could equate to the anguish as she stared at his dead body.</p><p>Snoke had killed him.</p><p>She could feel it consuming her, flooding her veins as she let it take control. Anger, hate and vengeance swirled within her before boiling over. Ice ran through her veins.</p><p>Rey's screams caught in her throat, an unnerving silence overcoming the Throne Room. She fell, landing on one knee with ease. She reached out slowly, gently placing Ben's lifeless body onto the floor.</p><p>She stood back up, facing a surprised Snoke. His expression turned into cruel delight.</p><p>"So much strength... Perhaps death is not your fate, young Jedi." He closed his eyes as he sensed her with the Force. "Raw, untamed power and darkness." He opened them, staring at her. "You have witnessed the First Order destroy the New Republic. Become my Apprentice young Rey and witness the destruction of the pathetic Resistance – "</p><p>She shot out a hand, feeling the Force wrap around his throat. Her head tilted as she watched him struggle for air, his hands desperately attempting to clutch onto invisible hands. The Guards leapt forward but with one flick of her hand, the fiery lightsaber cut through them. She walked forward, each step in-sync with the bodies that thumped against the floor.</p><p>The lightsaber hilt spun through the room and she grabbed it in her head, igniting it.</p><p>"I am no Apprentice." She sneered viciously at Snoke, who was still choking from her hold.</p><p>And without another word, cut off his head with a single swipe.</p><p> </p><p>Rey awoke with a gasp. She felt herself desperately holding onto the piece of light that shone through the dark, desperate to regain the Balance. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, gasps of broken words escaping her as her lungs failed her. It wasn't working, she could feel herself tumbling back into the nightmare – craving the power she held over Snoke.</p><p>"Rey?" A deep voice asked gently.</p><p>The voice brought back the flashes of his dead body. How still it laid on the ground.</p><p>Her fingers gripped onto his bare skin, feeling deprived of warmth and love.</p><p>Ben.</p><p>He was here. And he was alive.</p><p>Another sob reverberated within, a string of unintelligible words following it. Large arms wrapped around her and she was engulfed in him. She felt his hand enclose around hers, gently squeezing with each breath and she felt her erratic breaths align with his even ones. Through the bond she felt his concern filter through, a feeling of shame overcoming her as he recognised the dark that had festered within her.</p><p>"A vision?" He asked softly.</p><p>"No," she whispered. She looked up at him, seeing his worried expression. "It was... Something else."</p><p>He waited for her to continue, and she did.</p><p>"It was Snoke."</p><p>His body froze beneath her touch and she waited for him to say something. But he didn't.</p><p>"I was there again, in the Throne room. And I, I saw you..." Her voice choked up at the images again.</p><p>He cradled the back of her head as she fell back against his chest, trying to stop the tears. She heard him sniff, and felt his hand move to wipe at his face. She sat up slowly, his hand moving to slide around her waist, and she wiped his tears away.</p><p>"I could feel your pain," he said after a while. He looked down at her with a solemn expression as another tear fell. "He tortured you and I did nothing. Please forgive me, Rey."</p><p>"You can't change the past, Ben." When he looked away from her guiltily, she placed her palm against his cheek, so he faced her. "You can only move forward. You've atoned for what you did. There's nothing to forgive." She darted out her thumb to brush away another tear. "You're here now, that's what matters. Just don't... Don't leave me," she whispered.</p><p>He stared at her, bewildered at her words. An emotion hidden beneath his eyes, and through the bond she could only describe it as... Love.</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere."</p><p> </p><p>Ben Solo was understanding.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Gentle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"if you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself." - <em>Nikita Gill</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>He was gentle.</p><p>She watched from the side-lines, leaning against a tree. Ben was reading to a group of their new students. It was one of the ancient Jedi texts she had taken from Ahch-to, but they only used it to teach methods of the Jedi before them, for historical context. They no longer practiced the old ways. It wasn't what was destined. Instead they taught that there was no good faith in being at opposite ends of Light and Dark, that they must all find balance.</p><p>Ben was a better teacher than he had expected of himself. Through Rey's encouragement, they both realised that he was much better with dealing with the youngest of their students. He was nurturing and kind in a way that Rey preferred to watch, mesmerised by him. Though Rey herself found herself preferring to train their older students and teaching them the mechanics of a lightsaber.</p><p>He was smiling and talking softly to them. Many of them had a tough beginning, much like Rey, and she appreciated his gentleness towards them. The sight of it only fed the fire that burned within her and lightened the burden of what she withheld from him.</p><p>A thought disrupted her, and she felt the unease ripple through her and into the bond.</p><p>He looked up, as though sensing her unease, and she immediately felt his contentment reverberate through the bond. It washed over her senses, calming her.</p><p>He handed over the text to one of their students, asking her to read aloud. The small girl began to read, ever so slowly and quietly. The other students encouraging her when she got stuck.</p><p>Ben stood up, taking no less than several strides before he reached her. He wrapped his arms around her waist easily, his face burying against the crook of her neck.</p><p>"I missed you," he whispered into her skin.</p><p>She smiled, snaking an arm around him and her hand smoothed over his long dark hair, pulling herself closer to him. A warm fire burning between them.</p><p>"I missed you too."</p><p>They stood like that for a while. And while Rey truly enjoyed their embrace, she couldn't deny the anxiousness that occupied her mind. He disentangled from her gently, an expression crossing his face.</p><p>"What's wrong?" He asked softly.</p><p>She held her tongue, turning her gaze away from him and back to the students behind him. She furrowed her brow, biting her lip in thought.</p><p>"I..." The words seemed to die in her throat, like she was just too afraid to say it because of how he might respond.</p><p>It wasn't like Rey feared his reaction. Not at all. Rather the consequence of it all. What it meant for <em>them</em>.</p><p>"Rey?" His hands settled on her shoulders, genuine concern settled on his features.</p><p>"Would you want one?" She let out quietly.</p><p>His puzzled expression deepened.</p><p>Her insides itched with apprehension. "A child? Would you want to start a family?"</p><p>His eyes sparked. A messy rush of excitement and confusion and the same apprehension she felt coursed through the bond.</p><p>"Is that what you're worried about?"</p><p>"Answer me, please," she whispered.</p><p>"I love you. And I will love you for how ever long you want me, Rey. If a child is what you'd want, then – "</p><p>"But is it what <em>you</em> want?"</p><p>She needed to know. She needed to know if he was ready for this, just as much as she was.</p><p>A smile took over his lips. "Yes."</p><p>As soon as his answer registered in her mind, she shut her eyes, and mustered the will to say it. To unburden herself of the news she had been holding onto since she had found out herself.</p><p>"I'm pregnant."</p><p>Silence.</p><p>A long silence.</p><p>She opened up an eye. He stared at her, mouth slightly opened looking utterly befounded. And just as she felt her churning emotions turn into something horribly similar to fear, he pressed his lips to hers.</p><p>It was eager, so overwhelmed with joy that it took her senses from her. The intense waves of his unfiltered delight at her words bombarded her, smothering the brewing fear within her chest. She felt him smile into their kiss as his arms curled around her body and her hands held the sides of his face. When they parted, breaths mingling, he laughed with watery eyes.</p><p>She still wasn't used to how beautiful it was or how much she yearned to hear it.</p><p>"You're going to be a mother," he said thickly with a grin. "I'm going to be a father!" And then after a beat, sounding more distressed. "I'm going to be a father..."</p><p>She wiped his tears away with her thumb, feeling her own dripping down her chin.</p><p>"And you're going to be the best father in the galaxy."</p><p> </p><p>Ben Solo was gentle.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Tall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Being tall has a major impact, it takes some courage to be as big as you are, to live up to it and not be intimidated by the graceful tiny people." - <em>Sigourney Weaver</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>He was tall.</p><p>The rays of the Naboo sunset outlined the edges of their silhouettes.</p><p>She watched them from the doorway of their home. Ben’s voice was a low timbre but gentle as he pointed out towards the mountains from the balcony and named them. Kyra was sitting around his shoulders repeated the names curiously and then would ask for another, to which Ben complied. She didn’t have to see their faces to know that they were both enjoying this. And well, it warmed her heart more than anything to see them – the most important people in her life, here, with her.</p><p>She let them have a few more moments, simply admiring the sight of them talking before deciding to join them. She walked over, her long flowing dress trailing behind her and locks of her hair drifting in the wind. When she reached them, she ran her hand gently down his arm that held onto Kyra’s legs. He turned, surprise and joy lighting his face even more at the sight of her. His eyes never leaving hers as he took her in, now bathed in the glorious light from the sunset.</p><p>“Hey,” he said breathlessly.</p><p>She blushed at his stunned expression. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hi mama!” Kyra greeted with a toothy grin. Her tied up dark hair blowing in the wind, her hazel eyes sparking with excitement.</p><p>She looked so much like Ben, acted like him too. Unfortunately clumsy, eyes full of wonder and whenever Rey was upset she could sense it – just like Ben. She would always wrap her small arms around her leg and just hold her until the tears faded into a smile. He would disagree saying that her smile and distinct laughter reminded him of her, and that despite her dark locks she was irrevocably her mother’s daughter. Her quick wit, playfulness and ability to pick things up was beyond anything he did when he was younger. But they agreed on one thing. She was more unique than either of them, unburdened with expectations and free to be whomever she wanted to be.</p><p>She was loved.</p><p>Rey spotted the oil on her face – she had no doubt been playing around inside the Falcon again. Though she was proud that her daughter was learning, she did worry. The Falcon was… Well it was garbage but sentimental, nonetheless.</p><p>“Kyra were you tinkering in the Falcon?” Rey asked sternly.</p><p>She gave Rey an exasperated look before looking down at Ben’s head. “Dad let me!”</p><p>Rey blinked several times and looked back to Ben, who seemed to suddenly snapped out his entranced state. His expression suddenly nervous and guilty as he smiled her. In the few seconds he had to debate the many options to solve the situation, he decided to go for flattery.</p><p>Ben took her hand and gently rubbed it, giving her helpless look. “I can’t help that the kid takes after her beautiful, intelligent mother.”</p><p>Rey huffed, rolling her eyes at his words. “You Solos…”</p><p>She reached up a hand, slightly struggling from how high up she was from being on Ben’s shoulders, rubbing the oil from Kyra’s face. Kyra scrunched her face in response and pulled away to do it herself. When the oil was left in her fingers she reached down and cheekily swiped at her father’s face. He reached up and slowly wiped it away and stared at his fingers, his eyes locking onto Rey.</p><p>“Don’t you dare.”</p><p>He swiped, getting the end of her nose. She stood there, eyes closed and mind blank as the air hit the cold grease on her nose. She had to marry a damn Solo. Of all people.</p><p>“Now you look like Grandpa Chewie,” Kyra giggled.</p><p>When Rey opened her eyes, she could see Ben holding back a snort and Kyra covering her giggles with a hand. Despite how silly she felt, she grinned. They were all painted with a smear of black. She melted into loud laughter as Kyra continued to giggle and Ben was shaking from holding it all back.</p><p>And then when it died down, Ben spoke.</p><p>“You’re beautiful, Rey.”</p><p>“So are you,” she said through a wide smile.</p><p>“What about me?” Kyra pouted.</p><p>Ben grinned, reaching up and moving Kyra so that she was in his arms and tickled her. Squeals of laughter burst through her soured expression.</p><p>“You are the most beautiful girl in the galaxy,” Rey said after the tickle fight ended, brushing her hair back from her small face.</p><p>“All of them?”</p><p>Ben nodded. “All of them.”</p><p>Kyra grinned at them.</p><p>Ben moved Kyra back up onto one shoulder. And before Rey could stop him, he dipped and lifted her up to sit onto his other shoulder. She felt herself squeal and laugh when her daughter did the same as Ben stood back up. They could see every inch of the ocean deep down below and even the furthest mountain in the distance.</p><p>She held her arm around Kyra, who grinned and started naming all the mountains for Rey. To which Rey nodded enthusiastically and repeated after her. Ben looked up at her, intoxicated with love and she felt warmth shine through their bond.</p><p>This was her family.</p><p> </p><p>Ben Solo was tall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I’m really new to AO3 and most of my work is on Wattpad (@ap_marvel) and so to have this much love and support when I’m literally nobody in this massive platform of amazing writers… I gotta say this is doing a lot for my self-esteem and my writing so thank you so much! </p><p>As for the story, please do update me on your thoughts and if I’ve made any spelling errors because there’s always one left in there somehow. </p><p>Please do check out my other fics if you can I'd appreciate it very much!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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